The Legend And The Truth
by
Chris AndersonDisclaimer: Alias is the property of other people, including J.J. Abrams and Bad Robot productions.
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My name is Irina Derevko.
Once I was Laura Bristow. Wife. Mother. Literature professor.
Fictions I wished were true.
I am Irina Derevko. Under alias for the KGB, I married CIA agent Jack Bristow. Spied upon him. Betrayed him. Loved him. Bore him a daughter we named Sydney.
I used to dream that Laura was the only reality; that Irina did not exist.
If I had believed that a bit more strongly, I might have been able to make it true. I didn't, though, and so I faked my own death, left my family.
My daughter was never the same. Nor was my husband.
Leaving was all I knew how to do.
Nearly thirty years later, I found my daughter again. In my world, an agent of her government. A spy. She was beautiful, unbowed. Defiant. I no longer knew her, but I loved her.
I shot my little girl.
Yes. I shot her, my own child. Carefully. Calmly. To save her life. Yes, I shot her. I would do it again.
I think in her own way she understands that, and our relationship has moved beyond that.
You say you would never raise a hand to your own child? Do not think that you have the right to judge me. If you loved them enough, you would. You would do... anything.
Jack understood that, understood it better than I thought he would ever have. In many ways he hurt her worse than I ever did. She is stronger for it, now.
Such is the cycle of my life; of all our lives, I think. We love and we betray, and sometimes, we speak without words.
I love them. And for that and other reasons, I will betray them again.
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